Fulton Graduates

J.M.J.

I cannot believe how quickly this year has passed!  After so much deliberation about whether we should send Fulton to Pre-school, I think it is very obvious that we made the right decision.  SO much growth - learning and social adjustments alike - have brought to him a stronger sense of self and purpose.

That may sound funny if we are talking about a 5 year old boy, but truly I feel his journey through life will be made a little easier because of how well he has been cared for at Heritage Preschool.  They have truly given him the tools and confidence he needs as he continues on the path Our Lord has set before him.

Thank you so much to the entire staff at Heritage, and especially to his teachers, Amy, Alia and Tracey!

Here is a video of his class singing How Great Is Our God with sign language.  Believe it or not, I actually was able to hold myself together for most of the evening, but when the rays of sunshine came through the windows towards the end of the song, I lost it.  God truly is great!

Here is a video of him saying his bible verse:

And this is him receiving his diploma.

Here are a few photos of his big day yesterday.

Such a happy little guy!  Thank you all for your prayers and support - what a year it has been!  We couldn't have done it without your constant petitions to Our Lord.

God is Good.  Always!

Small Success Thursday: One hour at a time

J.M.J.

This week has been such a blur, all I can really remember is the last 7 hours (I am writing this at 11:09am).  So without further ado, these are my hourly accomplishments…

5:00 – 6:00am

I actually opened my eyes!  I am notoriously lazy – therefore waking up at this time was quite an accomplishment all by itself.  So impressive, in fact, that if I didn’t actually HAVE to get out of bed at that time, I would have just buried myself back under the covers and called it a day well lived.  But alas….

6:00 – 7:00am

I managed to put on a little makeup and brush my hair.  Jay (husband), CJ, Fulton and I got dressed and headed out the door to the hospital, where we checked in and dozed briefly in the waiting room.

7:00 – 8:00am

Settled into the recovery room, where we waited to hear what the plan was going to be for the day for Fulton’s surgery.  Jay took over the dozing duties for me while I sat quietly with a very grumpy Fulton.

8:00 – 9:00am

Slowly moved from vegging mode to surgery mode.  Changed Fulton into his medical gown and did some serious snuggling while watching the Cat in the Hat.  Unfortunately for Fulton the woman from Child Life came in and started explaining a few things about the surgery to him just as the episode about giraffes was about to get interesting.  We ALMOST found out whether giraffes actually eat monkeys or not.  Jay thinks they do – why else do they have such long necks and always have their faces in the trees?  Fulton, on the other hand, seems to think they eat leaves.  Perhaps another time we will finally learn the truth…..

9:00 – 10:00am

Watched a new show called Peg and Cat.  That was a new one to me, anyway.  And I thoroughly enjoyed it!  It was decided that Fulton did not have to take his ‘nose medicine’ (drugs that knock him out fairly quickly) and that he would only take the oral anti-anxiety meds.  He was a trooper.  But even with the meds, Fulton continued to sport the grumpy face, so we did some more serious snuggling.  CJ discovered the Wii set in the recovery room and we haven’t seen him since….

10:00 – 11:00am

Moved to the ‘launching pad’ – a waiting room in the surgical unit where we received more instructions and watched Dinosaur Train in the hospital bed.  Even Fulton was feeling a little sleepy by this time.  At 10:30 am, per Fulton’s request, I donned a surgical gown, mask and cotton candy blue surgical hat and was able to walk with him right into the operating room.  He wanted me to put the mask on him, so I stroked his head and held the oxygen mask on his little face until he fell asleep.

Lord help me, that was so difficult.  I can't even ponder the heaviness on my heart.

 Mother Mary, be with him for the remaining hours he will be in surgery.  Please guide the surgeons’ hands and hearts, and bestow upon them the wisdom they need to see this surgery through to the end.  May their God-given talents bring about the help Fulton needs and may the healing hand of God pass over my son and bless him.  Amen.

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What have you been up to this week - or for the last few hours?  Join your fellow Catholic Moms HERE and see what we have been up to on the Small Success Thursday linkup!

Face Your Flaws with Joy

J.M.J.

I saw an ad for the Wounded Warrior Project the other day.  As the ad played, they showed soldiers with various injuries dealing with 'real life' after their life changing event.  One soldier, in particular, caught my eye.  He was getting dressed for the day, but because of his severe burn injuries, one of the things he had to 'put on' was his ears.

Fulton's ears (or lack thereof) is kind of a topic we haven't hit head on yet with him.  He knows his hearing is not very good, and that his ears are 'very small'.  Cleaning them is vastly different from the way it used to be, since his scars have created a few deep pockets in the ear area that require regular attention in addition to his regular ear canals.  He has taken this all in stride, and honestly, unless we are washing his hair, we are pretty much at the point where we do not notice that his head is missing a few accessories.  Which was why this commercial caught my attention.

The physical therapists at Shriners had mentioned that as he grows he will be getting some ears.  And sometimes when we are getting him scanned for his face masks, I will see various prosthetic body parts on the counter, awaiting their final fittings.  And I wonder - how will Fulton feel about having fake ears?  Will years of not having them and dealing with the stares break his confidence down?  Should we get them sooner, if possible?  And how on earth do those things stay in place, anyway?

Later that day, I mentioned to Fulton that I saw a soldier on TV who was burned like he was.  "And you will never guess what he had to put on as he was getting dressed for the day!"

"What?" he asked, only half interested.

"He put on," 
what was I doing bringing this up right now? 
"a pair,"
are you kidding me, Cassandra?  Why are you telling him this?
"of EARS!"

As I finished the sentence, panic hit me, and I wondered why I even brought it up in the first place.  Would we have a detailed conversation about why someone would want prosthetic ears?  Would he suddenly become self conscious about his own ears?  Would he start asking questions to which I did not yet know the answers? 

I awaited his response...

"BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

His entire face contorted as only his face can, laughing.  Laughing so much, in fact, his eyes started to tear up.  And off he ran.  "Hey Shannon!" he called.  "Guess what!  There was a soldier who was burned and he had to put on his ears!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!  Someday I'm gonna get ears, too, and you can watch me put them on!  HAHAHAHAHA!"  This, of course, was followed by various demonstrations of how the ears probably are attached, and each sibling joined in the creativity of the moment.

Good grief - this child is laughing at himself!

And then I smiled.  Could it be, this is the way Our Lord wants us to look at our own human imperfections?  To not get bogged down with the downside of it all to the point where it paralyzes and prevents God's glory to shine through, but instead focus on what joy can come of it?

To be humble enough to laugh at oneself takes courage.  It leaves you exposed.  Vulnerable.  But when, out of a deep love of God, you embrace the cross with which you have been blessed, a transformation takes place within your heart that allows you to not only accept your flaws and your burdens, but take joy in them and spread that joy to others.  Your struggles are transformed into a source of sanctification and become the vehicle by which you ultimately give God glory in Heaven.

Fulton's journey has only just begun.  I have been warned that at any time, the effects of his injuries and appearance can suddenly take a turn for him emotionally and darker days may be ahead.  But for now, we are building on the joys at hand.  He has accepted what has happened to him as part of God's bigger plan for his life.  He brings joy to others through his cross.  He embraces his role as one who serves as a warning to others to be careful around fire.  He inspires.  He renews people's faith.  And he laughs.  A lot.  Which immediately puts others at ease and helps others laugh, too.

As I pondered this, I noticed the children had redirected the conversation from how to get the ears on to the multitude of ways the ears might come off.  "And maybe," Fulton was giggling, "I can be on a roller coaster and they will fly off my head because I am riding so fast!"

At this point, all of us were laughing so hard, tears were streaming down our faces.  Dear Lord, this child brings us so much joy!

Thank you, Lord, for showing me how to find the joy mingled within our sorrows.  Help me to embrace my own imperfections.  Remind me of the humor found in them.  And give me humility to laugh at myself as I struggle to overcome the things You have given me for the betterment of my soul.  

"Be merry, really merry.  The life of a true Christian should be a perpetual jubilee, a prelude to the festivals of eternity."  - St. Theophane Venard

Highway to Heaven

J.M.J.

Do you recognize this highway?

Probably not.  Not at first, anyway.  But I think we all have traveled on it - or one like it - in our lives.  It is the path of life.  Our highway to Heaven.  Or to Hell.

I have actually traveled this road - it is the road we live on.  Nothing spectacular about it, really, beyond the fact that last year, at precisely the time I am writing this post today, I was on this road headed home.  I hadn't been on this road for 3 months, and while it may look rather bland and uninteresting to you, it was profoundly beautiful to me.  Heavenbound.

Three months before this photo was taken, on January 8, 2013, I had traveled this road in the opposite direction, not sure whether I was headed towards what felt like the flames of Hell.  Riding shotgun in an ambulance, we headed to a nearby elementary school where a medical helicopter awaited to take my son to the hospital in Tulsa, OK.  I remember nothing of the ride.  Just the prayers.  And the one stop we had to make because they could not keep Fulton stabilized as we bumped along the road.

"Jesus, I trust in You.  Mother Mary, help us."  Over and over these prayers rose from my heart and streamed down my face.  "Jesus, I trust in You.  Mother Mary, help us."

Finally we arrived at the school, most likely ruining recess, and I anxiously waited while they tried to get my son stable enough for the 28 minute helicopter ride.  "Where are we going?"  Hell.  This has got to be Hell.

"We are taking Fulton to Tulsa.  But you cannot go with.  You will have to find another way and meet him there."  Panic replaced the prayer. How can I get there?  My husband was also burned and was headed in the opposite direction to a local hospital, and I was unable to drive.  "The pilot never takes extras.  We are so sorry."  The EMTs continued their work inside the ambulance while the flight medics went from ambulance to pilot, exchanging information and making plans.

Darkness.

Would he even be alive when I finally got there?  Tulsa was over 2 hours away.  What if he didn't make it?  He would be all alone....

Lost.

I shivered in the January breeze and prayed.

I had caught a glimpse of the helicopter when we first drove onto the school's field.  To keep myself moving, I walked around the ambulance, wanting to see what my son would be riding in.  At the door, standing sentry, was the pilot.  Dark shades covered his eyes, and he had an expressionless face.  But I was struck by how similar he looked to my father who had passed away from cancer in 2008.  A fit and healthy version of my father - and it left me breathless.  "Dad," I prayed, "If you are somewhere where you can hear my prayer, please help me now.  You know the situation we are in.  I have to be with my son.  Please, Dad, pray for us!  Pray that I may go on this ride!"  I followed this with prayers for the repose of his soul and went back to the other side of the ambulance, to sit on the step.  And wait.

Before long, one of the flight medics came to me and announced in complete amazement, "He says you may go!  He has never let anyone ride along before!"

Praise God!  Our first miracle!  "Thank you, Dad!" I whispered as they began moving my son to the helicopter. I was allowed to go with - invited to follow Fulton on his journey, never once leaving his side.

Indeed the first 2 weeks were a spiritual agony - a hell of sorts - the worst times of our lives.  But soon there were glimmers of hope.  Over the course of the next few months, Fulton and I stayed the course, keeping our eyes on the ultimate prize:  Home.  Every day, every moment was dedicated towards the day we would return home.

There were speed bumps.  There were detours.  And a few times we feared the end was near.  But by completely trusting in Our Lord, I knew that someday, somehow, we would be coming home again.  I did not question.  I did not force my will.  I became like soft clay in the holy hands of Our Lord, and He shaped me, strengthened me and set me on the path I needed to be on to get us Home.  For during that time, I had renewed my faith, grown closer to Our Lord and Our Lady and learned to embrace each cross with which I was blessed.  God had a plan - not just for me, but for Fulton and my entire family.  And I trusted Him completely.  But, with my husband's help, it would be up to me to help guide my children through it.

Then finally, the day for which I both prayed and dreaded had come. The surgeons gathered around Fulton and I and unanimously agreed that it was indeed time to go home.  We were ready.  We were strengthened by their care and armed with what we needed.  Not only the medical supplies and medications, but more importantly the prayers and continued support from all of you.  Without you all, I truly believe we would not have come through as well as we did.  And I am so very grateful.

It was a journey - an adventure of sorts - not knowing where it would lead, but knowing that as long as I stayed faithful to the path that was set before me, it would all be alright in the end.  For strength, I feasted on the fruits that grew alongside the road - the struggles and miracles - the bitter and the sweet - and my eyes opened to the power that comes from completely surrendering to the will of God.  Letting Him lead me where He willed, and slowly becoming the kind of wife, mother and woman I never would have become, had this road not been set before me.  A path to holiness.  A highway to Heaven.

Sure, I stumbled a few times while I was so far from home.  There are many things I wish I had done differently if given the chance.  But even through my failures I have learned how to better respond to the crosses and graces set before me in everyday life, and find ways of giving God the glory He so rightly deserves in all things.  Hindsight is sometimes the best lens through which we try to see how to better respond.  And I pray that I am able to apply what I have learned to whatever future roads Our Lord places before me.

One year later, I look at the picture I took of our road and recall how I felt as we traveled those last few miles.  Excitement.  Apprehension.  Joy.  And I see how, even after returning to our happy home filled with cake, balloons and streamers, and after our new 'real life' has settled in, I am still on a journey.  Firmly set on the pathway to holiness as wife and mother, guiding all my children as they embark on their own journeys, as they stumble along the roads He has set before each of them.  None of us have made it yet.  But by the grace of God, one day, we will finally make it Home.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."  Proverbs 3:5-6

Fulton at his Welcome Home party April 5, 2013

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."  Proverbs 3:5-6

Another Step Closer for Ven Fulton Sheen!

J.M.J.

I am so very excited to hear of Venerable Fulton Sheen's progress towards canonization!  When we named our own Fulton, we just knew that eventually the holy Archbishop would one day have his name listed among the greats.  And we wanted to be one of the first in line to have our child named after him.


My email is getting flooded with notifications about his progress and I rejoice every time I read of it.  My mother's heart goes out to Bonnie for the suffering she endured when her son James was born.  Her prayer - her very words - were my own words during those first 2 weeks at Fulton's bedside in those moments when it seemed so bleak.  "Fulton Sheen, please heal my baby!"  Bonnie, you are my hero, proving the power of a mother's faith and tears can move both the heart of a Saint (OK, saint with a lowercase 's' ... for now!) and the heart of Almighty God Himself.


I keep crying when I see that sweet boy's face - so very thankful we have such a merciful God who shows us His love through souls such as Ven. Fulton Sheen's! God is so good!



However there is another side to this that I am struggling with. And I am embarrassed to even admit it - because this is so NOT about me! 


I know you all mean well and know what this approval means to the Poppe family as well. But when I am told, "Keep praying - I know God will bring about a miracle for you, too!" this is a pressure becoming difficult to endure. Especially today for some reason. (more tears here)

I do not want other people to lose faith in God because their prayers for Fulton have not come to fruition in the ways we sometimes hope. And sometimes I feel I am letting all of you down somehow when Fulton's scars remain, his ears are still missing, etc. But please know that miracles are happening, nonetheless. Our Lady of Lourdes already saved him once. That is good enough for me!

As one dear, online friend put it: 

The miracle you've received in having Fulton with you here I think is enormous, wondrous and cause for being incredibly in awe of God every day. Fulton is a walking testament to the greatness of our God just the way he is. What God will do with his future will be a continuation of that miracle and whatever The Lord's goal is will be accomplished and for that I praise him.

 Fear not - I have not lost hope in those bigger miracles of which we Catholics marveled as children, and I continue to 'covet your prayers like candy' here, but please also accept that perhaps we are to go the long way with Fulton's suffering and the long road will be the best for our sanctification. (I'll take prayers for that intention, too BTW!)  Sometimes, well, most of the time, Our Lord chooses to work the great miracle of inward conversion instead of physical healing.

If He decides to miraculously heal him at some point, PRAISE GOD!

And if not, PRAISE GOD!

Always

Prayer for the Canonization of Venerable Fulton J. Sheen 

Heavenly Father, source of all holiness, You raise up within the Church in every age men and women who serve with heroic love and dedication. You have blessed Your Church through the life and ministry of Your faithful servant, Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. He has written and spoken well of Your Divine Son, Jesus Christ, and was a true instrument of the Holy Spirit in touching the hearts of countless people. If it be according to your Will, for the honor and glory of the Most Holy Trinity and for the salvation of souls, we ask You to move the Church to proclaim him a saint. We ask this prayer through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen

Prayer for Fulton's Miraculous Healing through the Intercession of Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen 

Eternal Father, You alone grant us every blessing in Heaven and on earth, through the redemptive mission of Your Divine Son, Jesus Christ, and by the working of the Holy Spirit. If it be according to Your Will, glorify Your servant, Fulton J. Sheen, by granting the favor I now request through his prayerful intercession - that Fulton Poppe's body heals and functions normally and that he is spared any detrimental scarring. I make this prayer confidently through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.

Our Lady of Lourdes Prayed For Us

J.M.J.

This season has been a bit rough on me.  The weather reminds me so much of the time when the accident happened last yer.  Many 'anniversaries' have already come.  The accident.  The removal of the vent.  First steps.  First words.  First cuddle.

But today, February 11, is the anniversary of an event I hadn't even realized happened until several months after the incident.

Last year, on this day, Fulton went in for some surgery that was estimated to take no longer than 2 hours. For some reason, I felt an incredible urge to bless him with holy water.  Not just any holy water.  It had to be holy water from Lourdes.  Thankfully someone had sent us some to the hospital, so I blessed him and we headed to surgery.

Below is a 'cut and paste' of my CarePages entry for that day:

"Fulton had a 6+ hour surgery today. It was supposed to be a day surgery with the possibility of going 'home' tonight. Unfortunately, his potassium levels were quite high. Almost 7.0. Not good. Needless to say, they will be keeping him there for at least the next 2 nights to get it under control and figure out why his levels skyrocketed. The doctor said it was a good thing he had his surgery scheduled today, or they may not have caught it. I didn't want to know what would have happened if they did not catch it in time - I am just glad they caught it and I trust he will be healed.

It is also a relief having him admitted, as I do not have to be terrified of his new skin grafts. They did a lot of work on the left side of his head, patchwork on his face, and a 3 inch square on the back of his neck. Hopefully no infection will set in and these areas will finally heal. Once his wounds are closed and secure, I hope I will feel more capable of taking care of him. But I am sure something else will pop up, and I will flounder once again. This parenting thing sure is hard work! But I am trying now more than ever to remember Our Lady at the foot of the Cross. May her humble, loving example be my inspiration to persevere!

I am in my room and it feels lonely all of a sudden. He was not talking much at all while he was with me, unless he was complaining about the medicines or bandages, but seeing his shoes on the floor here makes me miss him. I got to be 'the good mom' again today, at his side, soothing him and talking to him. I think we both needed this break. I get to sleep tonight and tomorrow night and will be better able to take on whatever other challenges await me later this week.

Thank you, prayer warriors - your intercessions are keeping me together!"

This is actually a picture of a much later surgery, as I have precious few photos of Fulton in his earlier days

All I knew that day was his surgery took longer than usual and that his blood chemistry was very off.  Scary, yes, but manageable compared to everything else we were going through.

Fast forward toward the date when we were about to go home:  The head surgeon was reviewing his records and mentioned this particular day as the day Fulton "held his breath."  He was talking about so many other things this comment he let slip flew right by me.  It wasn't until later when I finally said, "Heeeeeyyyyy!  What was that?"

When one is under general anesthetic, you cannot voluntarily 'hold your breath' like a naughty child trying to get your way.  No.  You just stop breathing.  While there was no point in being terrified over something that happened several months before, I staggered under the realization that I almost lost my son.  Again.  And so I reviewed the above post and noted the date.

February 11.

The Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes.

And terror slowly transformed into amazement.  I was stunned.  And tearfully grateful for the way Our Lady urged me to tend to him spiritually, knowing what might happen that morning.  I cooperated with her persistent  urging that morning and obeyed without realizing the greater need behind it all.  And in doing so, she was invited into the operating room that morning and given permission to guide these great doctors and protect my son.

A miracle?  Probably not.  God's hand in Fulton's journey has been generous beyond belief and i have accepted the fact that perhaps immediate and complete healing is not His greater plan for Fulton.  So be it.  But Our Lord and Our Lady have never left us.  Ever.  And I can only wonder how many more times, through chance meetings, words, actions and prayers from around the world, they have worked such hidden miracles.  And I am sure there have been many.

God is good.  Always!

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us!




For other miracles, big and small, check out Kendra's 'miraculous' link-up!

Video Thank You from the Poppe Family

JMJ

I cannot believe we are almost at the one year mark for Fulton's accident.  Getting ready for Christmas reminds me of how precious Fulton looked after we returned from Christmas Eve midnight Mass.  The tree was buried in presents, but all he was fascinated with was the infant Jesus who appeared under the tree.  He couldn't take his eyes off of the Infant.

2 weeks before the accident

Time has flown by so quickly, I feel like I haven't been able to catch my breath and properly assess all that has happened this year.  The blessings, the crosses, the new friends in our lives, and dreams lost.  My cup runneth over, for even through the tears I see it is all from God and it is all good.
Thy will be done, Lord.

I am a complete organizational mess, as most of my real life friends and family know, and while I have tried to keep track of addresses for thank you notes, I think about half of the hundreds of well-wishers have gone unacknowledged.  There were so many I wanted to respond to personally, and that special pile has disappeared into the abyss, and I am left here unable to hug each of you and write to you to tell you how grateful I am for your love and support.  This pains me deeply, as every prayer, Mass, card, and pack of stickers has brought such grace to Fulton and our family.  The medical supplies (oh the needed medical supplies!), skin creams and salves, and all of the necessary but unglamorous gifts we have received were in many ways the most important.  The fundraisers, the generous donations people have made, the angels in disguise who have helped us with difficult scheduling and travel issues...  I am the unworthy recipient of such graces.  And I am so, so thankful.

Fulton, in his own way, is thankful as well.  He just does not know it yet.  But I think he can feel the love and has certainly benefited from your prayers.  He recently drew 2 self portraits (which I will post soon!) that proves how happy he is and how well he is doing.  Thanks be to God!

Until I get those pictures posted, I will simply post the video for you all to see.  Please pass this along to anyone you know who has prayed for Fulton or has followed his progress in the past - your churches, prayer groups and homeschool groups, friends and family members.  I shed many tears as I created it, but they are tears of gratitude and were shed for all of you.

Thank you, everyone, and have a blessed Advent!

***UPDATE:  I was just informed that some people are having trouble viewing the video on my blog.  You may do a search on YouTube and find it there if you type in the words Fulton Thank You.  Sorry!***

First Day of School! (Morning Edition)

J.M.J.

Well, the day we both dreaded and were so excited about has finally arrived:  Fulton's and Marialina's first day of school away from home! 

"What?" you say.  "I thought you were a homeschooling family!"

Yes.  We are.

But we are also a family with children who have many needs and I have long come to realize that I am not SuperMom.  Not by a long shot.  I know my limits and a wonderful opportunity came our way like an answer to a prayer. So let me explain.

CJ, Virginia and Shannon will continue to work through their MODG curriculum at home.  The girls will have additional help through MODG teacher assisted and teacher directed programs while CJ just has dear old Mom as his teacher.

 

Marialina and Fulton will be attending preschool programs from 9am to 2pm every Tuesday and Thursday.  This will free up 2 days a week for me to focus entirely on the older childrens' school without interruption.

Fulton will be starting Kindergarten with me this year on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  However he will be attending a preschool program for the other 2 days a week for socialization issues.  Yes, yes, I know all the arguments about homeschooled children and how children actually fare better in life WITHOUT 'socialization'.  But hear me out. 

Ever since the accident, when we go to a playground or any other social setting where there are children he does not know, he always gets the "Woah!  What happened to you!?" 

Bless his heart, Fulton is terrific at answering their questions and most times, the children play with him for the brief time we are there.  (Or sometimes they chose not to play with him, which is fine for a child, too.  *sniff*)  But the problem is that we always go home and never see the other children again.  So the next time we go, he has to 'lather, rinse, repeat' without ever getting to a point where everyone is comfortable enough with each other to start playing pirates or dinosaurs.  No one really ever gets past his burns, and he never develops relationships with other children.  No playdates, no birthday parties, etc.

I know these are not absolute musts for him, but he is a very social creature and needs the playtime outlet with other children.  (He was SO excited about playing with other children his age last night and this morning, it was hard to settle him down!)  We are the only young family where we live, and since we go to Mass an hour and a half away from home, all the other younger children he knows live way too far for him to visit.

The doctors at Shriners say it is important that he not only learns how to deal with the initial reactions from others, but that he learns that he can have longterm relationships with others as well.  He has an extra barrier he must learn to help people break through.

Rest assured, he is in a very safe place.  Jay's parents' church runs the preschool program and they have been praying for him from the beginning.  They know his story well and are so excited to have him.  We feel they are well equipped to handle any issues that may come up and look forward to the new experiences he will have over the course of the year.

Marialina gets to go to school with her big brother but unlike Fulton's reasons, I really do not have as many good reasons for her to go, beyond the fact that I desperately need the babysitting time so I can keep the older children on track with school.  We are a semester behind because I was in Galveston with Fulton for so long, so we have A LOT of catching up to do over the next few months.  If we see she is not loving her playtime there after the week or so needed for adjustments, we have the option of unenrolling (is that a word?) her and bringing her home at any time. 

I have entrusted them to their Guardian Angels.  And I will, of course, let you all know how the first day of school went for my little bunnies.  Jay already told me a rather hilarious story about what happened when he dropped them off.  ;)  Stay tuned!

Next Stage in Wound Care

J.M.J.

 

 

OK, I just wrote the most pathetic post ever about our appointment today.  Ooohhh, the moans and groans!  Lots of self-pity and stomping of feet, too.   (You may be thankful I deleted it)  So I wrote this one in its place.

Now in my defense, I suppose it was justified to complain.  You see, now that we have reached 'wound care specialist' status, we have reached the top.  Nowhere else to go but here.  If no one else can figure these wounds out, surely the wound care specialists can!  Right? Right?!

Wrong.

Nothing made sense to them, so we are in uncharted territory.  Still. 

But instead of wailing and gnashing my teeth and preparing for another 6 months of wound care with no hope of healing in sight, I have decided to look at the positives.

1)  Fulton really likes the staff at this hospital 
2)  They promised to have suckers that will actually fit in his mouth (we just learned he can't eat Tootsie Pops because his mouth still won't open wide enough)
3)  They are local so we only have to drive 35 minutes to get there instead of 10.5 hours
4)  They use weird things like medihoney, which means they might be open to looking into other natural ingredients to try on his skin
5)  They did NOT prescribe antibiotics
6)  They are generous with their little bottles of saline solution, which Fulton promptly used to squirt every staff member in the unit (with the nurse's prompting, of course)

The fact that Fulton likes going there is key, since apparently we will be showing up there quite often for several weeks or months.  So be it.  I learned today that I need to take all things for what they are and make the best of them - just as Fulton does.

The weather was gloriously cool but sunny today, so after our fruitless appointment we waited outside for my oldest son to pick us up.  I sat on the bench, silently trying not to dissolve in tears, while he squirted a few ants on the sidewalk and chattered about Lightening McQueen and which of his new doctor friends he wanted to squirt next week. 

My eyes were closed, only half focused on his happy chatter, trying to set aside my fears for his health, when I heard him say, "Mooommm! I have something you have been waiting so looong for!"  He was standing in front of me, with that goofy looking grin that only his precious little face can make, waiting for me to play my part in our little game.

"What's that?" I grinned back, leaning forward.

"THIS!" he said, flinging his arms around my neck and giving my cheek a kiss. 

And suddenly everything changed.

Yes.  My boy is in a lot of pain.  And when we are in the throes of bandage changes and ointments and doctor visits that involve a lot of poking, he is 100% in the moment.  But bless his heart, he copes and quickly returns to what every 5-year-old should be doing: laughing, loving, playing. 

100%

And I realized that if we are to get through this current trial in one piece, I had better take a lesson from my son and do the same. 

Sure.  Embrace the pain when it comes, 100%.  And offer it up to Our Lord. 

But when those painful moments pass, do not dwell on it.  Don't let those mental wheels spin out of control with doom and gloom, dreading the next bandage change or the next doctor's appointment.  Instead, open my eyes to the countless joys Our Lord puts before us as consolations and live within those moments as they come. 

Ants and saline solution. 
The promise of a smaller sucker. 
A beautiful day. 
And a kiss on the cheek from a little boy who loves me.

Each of these little things, and countless more today, were gifts from above.  Consolations for embracing the cross He has chosen for us.  Glimmers of happiness to come.  And all of it, proof of His love. 

100%

"In my deepest wound I saw Thy glory, and it dazzled me."
~ Saint Augustine

St. Lawrence and Burn Safety Activity

J.M.J.

 

Today's Collect: O God, giver of that ardor of love for you by which Saint Lawrence was outstandingly faithful in service and glorious in martyrdom, grant that we may love what he loved and put into practice what he taught. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.

 



I am so inspired!  St. Lawrence's day is today and to celebrate, I have decided to designate August 10 of every year:

The Feast of St Lawrence and Poppe Fire Safety Day If I Happen to Remember to Check the Calendar!

(I have a lot going on and I try to be honest with myself) 

After reviewing some of my early entries I wrote on the Pray For Fulton Facebook group about Fulton's burns and care, I am reliving some of that horror and sorrow all of us mothers were going through on the critical burn unit floor.  Praise God Fulton has no memory of those first several weeks, but so much of the images and sounds of utter suffering will be with me forever. 

Now over the years I think I have done a fairly good job of teaching my children what is dangerous and what can cause burns.   But what I never once even mentioned to any of them was what to do if they actually got burned.  And this will be one of my regrets I will take to my grave.  Lord help me, by kindergarten I knew to Stop, Drop and Roll if I ever caught on fire.  But Fulton never knew.   It is not like I kept the secret from him.  It just never occurred to me that such a horrible thing could actually happen to people, unless it was on TV.  But that was drama.  And actors.  And if they didn't die in the story, they never looked too bad off in the following hospital scenes.  No.  Fire wounds were never on my parental radar.  Because who could imagine seeing one's own child in flames?

Burn safety, needless to say, is becoming my passion and I will dedicate this post to remind all of you to please be sure your children are well versed in burn safety!

I want everyone who reads this to try to recall the last time you spoke with your child about being safe around hot things.  The stove, bathtub, fireplace, burn barrel, electrical outlets, power lines, irons and candles are all possible safety hazards you should point out to your children.  Chemicals and flammable fuels are also high on the list of  dangerous items.  And, of course, matches. 

I created a little fire safety activity I want all of you families to play on every Feast of Saint Lawrence.  It is easy to play and full of action, so your children will love it!  Below is a page I created with several flames on it.  It is a JPEG file, so just paste it on a document and stretch it out to fit if you need to.  (I don't but your computer may be different)  Print it, cut the squares out and go around your house and tape one to everything that could cause a burn.  Stove knobs and oven doors, outlets and curling irons, hot water taps and candles.  Everything!  Print out multiple pages if you want to.  Go nuts with it - decorate your house! 

As you tape the flames by each item, talk to them about how the burns can happen (no forks in the outlets, please!), what to watch for (is that electrical cord frayed?) and how far away they should stay from dangerous items (if you blow towards the candle flame and it flickers, you are too close!)  Tell them that steam burns are especially painful and to always let an adult take care of steaming items on the stovetop. 

The special flame with Fulton's picture on it should be used on a box of matches and a can of gasoline (if you have it).  While Fulton was not playing with matches when he was burned, matches and gasoline are extremely dangerous especially when used together.  You have permission to gently tell them of his accident and how he now warns all the children he meets that gasoline is very dangerous.

Then tell them how to treat first and second degree burns and how to tell the difference.  Talk to them about third degree burns, too.  Although there may not be much a child can do about helping to treat a third degree burn, just knowing the information could save a life somewhere down the road.  Use a medical book or this site here for now: Burn Care   (When I get the game all together, I will include this information as well)  I have an issue with the administering pain medication to anyone who is badly burned, but that is something I learned in the hospital and will be covered when the game is complete.  So you may tell them that for first and small second degree burns, this treatment is OK.  But for burns that require medical attention, this is not always a good idea.

Finally, show your children where the first aid kit is and make sure you have sterile gauze pads and a bag of clean washcloths stored with your first aid kit. You can also purchase a few packages of sterile lap rags which will come in handy for both burns and any wound that is bleeding a lot.  Tell them that when someone has a first or second degree burn, cool water will be the first thing they will want to apply to the wound.  Second degree burns should be covered with a moist sterile bandage until an adult can look at it and decide if a physician must be seen.

Then teach your children how to Stop, Drop and Roll.  It is very simple and fun to practice, too!  (Remind them to cover their face if they can, as this is what happened to have saved Fulton's eyes.) 

Once they get the basic idea, each child and parent will take a turn getting 'burned' by something you marked in the house.  Have the child holler in pain and everyone else will come running.  Ask your other children how the 'injured' child probably got burned.  Now you take a look at the injury and assess it out loud.  "Oh no!  Michael burned his finger from the outlet here.  The tip of his finger is red and has blisters on it.  What degree of burn is it?"  Have them answer.  "And how do we treat it?"  Send a child to the first aid kit and actually treat the pretend wound.  After it is treated, ask, "what should we do now?"  Call a doctor, watch it and see how it does, etc.  And finally, "What should we do if we see someone playing with an electrical outlet?" or whatever object that caused the pretend burn.

Put your supplies away and start again.  Let each child get 'burned' at least once, and let each child take care of an injured person as well, so that they all know how to quickly get the first aid kit.  Hopefully a parent will be home when a real burn or other injury happens, so having children who all know where the first aid kits are kept and how to get the washcloths wet for you will be very helpful in a true emergency.

Obviously if your child gets frightened easily, this level of teaching might be overwhelming.  Tweak it where appropriate. 

I am sorry this game is not in its final format for today's feast, but I will post it in its final form when it is complete, and on every Feast of St. Lawrence.  And St. Florian, too!  Please leave a comment below and let me know how it went in your home and if you have any suggestions on how to make it better.  And please, please, please spread the word about this game!  Like I said, if I had read a blog post about fire safety just the day before the accident, I would have been reminded to teach my son Stop, Drop and Roll.  "If onlys" and "I should haves" will haunt me forever.

One last request:  if you could, please end your game with a prayer to St. Lawrence for all burn victims.  There is a certain mother in Oklahoma who will sleep a little better tonight knowing so many pure souls are praying for her son!

Stay safe and God bless!




This post is linked up to the Catholic Monthly Bloggers Network monthly linkup blitz
 and the Equipping Catholic Families Saints Cele-linky

Making Headway!

J.M.J.

PTL his head is showing marked signs of improvement above and beyond the previous update I posted on Fulton's Carepages page.  To give you a brief summary, the doctors were amazed with his wound progress and asked what we were doing for it.  Calendula was the buzzword in the hospital for the rest of the day, and they are including it in their research and will be recommending it to other parents as well.  I love it!

I am posting some pictures because even though it still looks pretty gnarly in places, it all looks beautiful to me!  (Compare to this post here)

 

OK - this side is our present cross.  This was just beginning to rear its ugly head just a few weeks before discharge back in April.  The large spot is, of course, painful, and the open areas either are flat and bleed, or they bulge up and look gelatinous (think jellyfish bumps)  They can change between the 2 states within a 24 hour period.  When it bleeds, the most healing takes place.  When it stays bulged out, it usually gets worse.  If you see the areas behind the main wound, there are several darker spots.  These are spots that are healing and are basically closed, however they can reopen at any time.  We have to keep his hair closely trimmed here, as the hair gets in the way of keeping it clean and it irritates the wounds when they open.

This side has been a battle since his first skin grafts.  While the photo makes it actually look better than it really is in real life, it is still a marked difference between this and the post I put up a few months ago when I put out my cry for help.  (If you click on the Burn label, you can see the other updates on his progress)  The spots are tiny and scattered, and they open and close, grow and shrink almost on a daily basis.  But the last few days there has been a steady improvement.  Thank you Lord!

And this is my pride and joy shot!  The darker areas in that 5 inch strip going North to South on his head is a huge patch that was headed toward the way the first picture now looks.  Terrified he would have yet another large area to deal with, I took a huge leap of faith and started applying THIS product. (Never never never on the open wounds, though!) It is the Mom of 13's 4 Thieves Germ Away Hand Sanitizer, of all things.  And this is actually keeping his head wounds at bay.  Once these spots go bad, the larger ones never heal, so this breakthrough is truly a Godsend to Fulton.  (Please see update below)

 

Occasionally his hair will begin to clump in this area, which is the first stage before it begins to open up, but we just avoid putting the sanitizer on it (because it stings like crazy if it gets on an open area!) and scrub extra hard with the antifungal goat milk soap we are using to wash his head 2x a day.  Within 2 days, the spots give up and go dormant again.  But if we miss an application on this large patch, the whole area turns dark red and threatens to open up everywhere, so maintenance is very important.  I have been using this for almost a month now.  We will see how this goes!

 

Words cannot adequately describe how THRILLED I am with Wendy's hand sanitizer.  I suspect it is the rosemary and eucalyptus essential oils that are doing the trick.  I am studying up on these oils and seeing what else I can add to this, if anything.  He also has several patches all over the back of his head that we also have to keep a close eye on, but this is so much better than it has ever been before.

 

And so a special thank you goes out to Wendy Cukierski for creating such a wonderfully effective product.  I don't know why it works, since we still do not know what is causing this to begin with, and all labs come back as negative for fungal, viral and bacterial infections.  But it works.  And that is all I care about. 

 

UPDATE:  In my research I have found that some of the essential oils in the sanitizer should NOT be used on children.  I am so happy we found something to keep additional breakouts from happening, but we are relying on simple calendula preparations now and continue to be grateful to Our Lord for such a wonderful, effective, gentle herbal fix.  As I type this, his wounds have healed and only has small sores from time to time after surgeries, which we continue to treat with calendula salves.

 

I am honestly tearing up as I type this.  We are so exhausted with this whole thing.  And Fulton suffers most of all.  Please keep your prayers coming - you have no idea how much we covet them! 

General Fulton Update

Hello everyone! Generally my silence means life is busy- which is a good thing. Busy is our 'normal' around here and we all are ready for more 'normal' to be sure!

We are finishing up school as best we can, although we are still a bit behind. I am also continuing to pursue my clinical master's certification in herbal medicine in hopes of better understanding how to help Fulton heal. God is so good to have given us so many medicinal remedies! I just have to take the time to do all the trial and error it will take to find out what will work best for his head wounds and his scar tissue.

Fulton's head has been keeping us on our toes lately. For awhile there, it was getting so much better. He could even 'wash' his own head and proudly show us. "Look Mom!" rub rub "I can do it myself!"

The antifungals and calendula treatments were working so well and we really hoped we were finally going to be through with the head wounds and get to get him back into his face mask. The bulging tissues were receding and the redness was going away. We even happily cancelled our appointment in Galveston a little over a week ago, since they only wanted to see him if there was no improvement.

But now the worst areas have begun to open up, like a crown of thorns around his head. Tears and pain have taken over once again and he is angry and yet very snuggly now. I have resumed part of the headcare duties, since Fulton is now mad at Jay pretty much all the time for 'hurting his head'. Jay is a little more firm and does not take any nonsense from Fulton, and this usually results in a very good scrubbing (which is needed) but a very angry 5-year-old.

His tummy hurts and his appetite is diminished. We are so grateful for the case of Kid Essentials calorie booster we received in the mail the other day, as his weight is beginning to go down. If he loses too much weight, he may have to be readmitted until they can get him eating again. (I saw it happen from time to time when we were still there - and they were always talked about in hushed tones as though the parents were doing something awful to their children. I used to think, "How can you let your child lose weight?" But now I understand. And it is a bit frightening.) Let us pray it does not get that bad!

Fulton and I are headed back to Galveston next week for a quick clinic appointment to decide how much head work they will be doing in July. I so wanted to show them his improvements! :( He also needs to get remeasured for his pressure garments. Unfortunately the custom garments we received in the mail the other day were too loose around his upper chest and shoulder areas, and since he has significant scarring there (especially on the back of his shoulder) it is vital that the garments fit tightly. They warned me that we could be going there several times a month in the beginning. I understand why it has to be this way, but it sure does rupture the normal flow of homelife.

Please, for those of you who are still here, please pray that his head finally heals! His face, at this point, is a lost cause, since the critical time for him to wear his facemask has now passed. The scars will be large and mostly permanent. I know there is a reason why this is happening - I am just having a hard time figuring it out. I have since lost my devotion to the Holy Face of Jesus. I always seem to do better when I can separate myself from worldly ways, so perhaps I need to begin again and keep myself better focused on my faith instead of on the day to day trials. A week in a cloistered convent sounds heavenly right about now! I must regroup and recharge, and persevere in faith!

Wasn't our dear Papa BXVI so wise to proclaim this year the Year of Faith? Who knew?

Thank you all for your continued prayers and for fulfilling a few of our items on the Wish List. They are truly helping to ease some of this burden - and Fulton thinks it is funny that his head bandages magically appeared in a box on our porch! LOL!

Have a blessed weekend everyone, and I will keep you posted on our trip down South next week!

Happy Birthday, Fulton!

J.M.J.

June is a busy month for celebrating.  Fulton, Ryan and Marialina all have birthdays this month, plus Father's Day, and even a high school graduation to toss into the mix this year.

But today (June 10) is all about Fulton.

Today is a special day for Jay and I, as we silently acknowledged that this birthday might not have come at all.  For a few weeks, Fulton was touch and go at the hospital and I feared more than a few nights that he would not be with us when I returned to his room in the morning.  So many nights I slept in the hospital 'dorm room' 2 floors above him, willing the ventilator to keep him breathing and praying the night nurse would not leave his side.  And praying even harder that no nurse would come knocking on my door.  Praise God and the Blessed Mother he survived! 

SO needless to say, there were some pretty wet eyes this morning as we all wished him a happy birthday!

We do birthdays in a very low key way here overall.  2 presents from Mom and Dad and 2 from my mother, a special trip to Chucky Cheese (boys only - none of us girls were allowed!  LOL!) and dinner at La Fiesta.  We came home to cupcakes and ice cream and the blessed news that he would not have to sleep in his supersuit.  Not that we planned on 'treating' him to this - I actually forgot to wash all his supersuits today and they take more than a day to dry, so TA-DA!  Instant birthday surprise!  **sigh**

I would love to post a mini photo timeline of Fulton, but our computer crashed and all his photos were stored in it.  :'(  But I do have a few in this computer, so I will see what I am able to post here.


Thank you all yet again for your prayers - they are truly cherished!





He was always a little guy!





Shannon was and always will be his favorite!

Always the center of attention

And always ready for a smile

 

Yet ever mindful of the serious side of life

And willing to take on the role of Big Brother

I pray it is not his tragedy that defines him

 



But rather with our love surrounding him

 

May the fire be the source of refinement that he may become all he was meant to be



HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY, FULTON! 
WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Thank You!

J.M.J.

Not a day goes by when I am not eternally grateful for the tremendous amount of love and support shown to us as we carry this current cross.  For many weeks, I survived on nothing but prayers sent above by people I will never meet this side of life.  And since I will not meet so many of you in person, I just want to say THANK YOU for all you have done for Fulton and my entire family.

Bless you all!

Some Days Are Harder Than Others

J.M.J.

Every once and awhile I will break down and post it like it is.  This whole burn thing really stinks and today was an especially difficult day.  It is not just the drama of his care, the pain he is in, and the emotional stress and heartache - really, I suppose, it is just not knowing what is happening to his skin on his head and not seeing any end to his suffering any time soon.  Oh Great Physician, please enlighten the doctors and guide them towards a cure!  

And if anyone has any suggestions or knows a dermatologist, I'm all ears!

The following is a post I put up on Facebook earlier this evening:

Another spot on his head was starting to ooze, so I am now actively tending to 3 major areas on his head. 4 spots on the left side, a strip at his hairline on the right side and a patch behind his right ear. I applied the first calendula treatment last night and it completely broke through the scabs overnight (this stuff is amazing!) So now it will be a matter of getting it all out of his hair. The consistency is similar to a mixture of peanutbutter and gum, so I am sure you can imagine how difficult it is to get this out of his hair in areas where his nerves are exposed. This morning's cleaning and bandage change took almost 3 hours. That was not 3 hours of constant work, mind you, but it was a tiresme process all the same. (This evening's bandage change went much faster, thanks to Jay pitching in and taking over.)


left side

I try to do it in pieces to lessen the trauma. I honestly do not know what else to do with this. While the smaller patches are responding well to antifungal treatment, the bigger spots continue to grow. He currently has 8 spots 'exposed' - each one being either an inch or half an inch in diameter, with additional large spots under scabs. He is going in next week, so I am not going to even touch those areas. He already has more than he can handle as far as pain goes. Thankfully, despite how tender these spots are, they are not looking infected. But every day they are not healed leaves him open to that risk, so please continue to pray.

Aside from the pain he is in, the worst part of this is his anger at me. He frequently asks me to leave the room and says he does not like me, etc. There are times in the evening when he sorrowfully apologizes for his behavior and when he curls up with me and says, "Mom, I like you" which is beautiful, but more often than not I am the dreaded 2 headed monster who constantly chases him around with a soapy washcloth, medicine syringes and blood pressure cuffs. I am so grateful Jay does not have to do this all day, too, so that Fulton has a parent he feels more relaxed with.

I understand this is the way it has to be for now, but it still hurts a lot. My head knows this will get better and one day he might come to know what I try to do for him. But it is not about being appreciated. This is my cross and while I am trying to carry it well for Our Lord, it hurts to see that this love I have is somehow not being transferred to my son - that he is somehow not picking up on my love and is instead pushing me away.

But enough about me. :)
Thank you for your continued prayers - I look forward to reporting more good news in the future and not so much depressing stuff!

St. Anthony, Where Are You?

J.M.J.

Rumor has it I write a blog.  Sorry for the long silence, but time has been short lately.  In fact I should be in bed right now, but I can't seem to find Fulton's mouth stretcher and I have finally decided to let St Anthony take over while I put some words on this blog before bed.

As I write this, I realize I have lost something else besides the mouth stretcher.  Actually, I have lost many things.  Time.  Grace.  Patience.  Sleep.  And a few marbles, too.  In fact, I have lost just about everything, except the 40 pounds that continue to stick with me through thick and...(well, hopefully those pounds won't stay with me through the 'thin'!)

I will be painfully honest with you: Ever since returning home, everything has been a fabulous source of sanctification for me.  And luckily for the rest of the family, I have been a great source of sanctification for all of them as well.  Bound together by love, loyalty, and the unavailability of extra vehicles to aid our escape, we are beginning to adjust to the new demands on my time and adapt to new personality traits that have emerged in Fulton.  And in myself.

I was always been a bit frazzled and forgetful, but since returning home I think I am beginning to lose my mind.  The house is a mess.  I spend far too much time looking for things.  And I have completely deleted far too many conversations I have had with people.  I couldn't even tell you how many times Jay has heard me say, "I am so sorry!  I completely forgot to...."

While the forgetfulness is certainly annoying, it is my newly perfected skills at misplacing things that is really a problem.  Fulton's care requires so many items, it would be hard for a Martha Stewart type person to keep track of it all, let alone me.  His blood pressure cuff, medical syringes, pressure garments, lotions and potions, etc is a lot of 'stuff' to handle on a daily basis, so it was off to the antique store for me! 

We came home with a lovely 3 shelf hutch with a cabinet underneath to put in our bedroom.  I could have settled for a cheap Walmart bookcase or something, but ugly and clutter make me crazy (although you'd never guess that based on how the house looks) so I spent the same amount on a real piece of furniture.  I still need to get a basket or two to hold the multitude of tiny but oh-so-important items in my medical collection, but overall I am quite pleased with the new addition.  I am still losing things on a regular basis though, and am considering making St Anthony my new favorite Saint, but overall there is a marked improvement.

It is still ugly and cluttered, but hopefully after a few more rustic looking baskets these shelves will be a little easier to look at first thing in the morning.  Meanwhile I will continue to try to Lord willing, this is just a phase of readjustment and I will eventually become a more helpful addition to the rest of the family.  But for the time being, we have all come to the understanding that Mommy is still Fulton's special helper.   I will NOT forget that!

I continue to strive to transform his care into acts of love, thanksgiving and reparation to Our Lord and offer up our sufferings to The One who has done so much for us.  I continue to see Our Lord Crucified in Fulton's little face and am learning to love on a whole new level.  And I am continuing to lose my sense of 'self', slowly but surely, and that is one thing I hope will stay lost forever!

For everything else that I continue to lose, it is good to know that I have St Anthony to back me up!

Saint Anthony, perfect imitator of Jesus, who received from God the special power of restoring lost things, grant that I may find (mention your petition) which has been lost. As least restore to me peace and tranquility of mind, the loss of which has afflicted me even more than my material loss.

To this favor I ask another of you: that I may always remain in possession of the true good that is God. Let me rather lose all things than lose God, my supreme good. Let me never suffer the loss of my greatest treasure, eternal life with God. Amen.

St Anthony, pray for me!